My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We've been together for 6 years. When we were married he was homeless and had no job. There is an age difference of 11 years between us, I am 11 years older than him.
He has lost his job for the third year in a row. Every time he gets a new job everything is wonderful. We have money and all is well. As soon as he loses his job, he turns on me. He gets depressed and takes out his anger on me.
I've been through this three times now. He was laid off from his last job two weeks before Christmas this year. Awful timing as usual. He was sad that he couldn't buy any presents. Honestly I could care less about presents. That's not what Christmas is about for me. It's about Jesus' birth, Mass, and spending time with friends and family.
I understand his frustration. He has some college classes (I strongly encouraged him to go, but he dropped out before getting his Associates Degree). I helped him with every class. I am an enabler. I admit it. I just wanted him to do well and to accomplish something. He wants a career, but doesn't want to put in the effort. He wants to join the military, but he has no discipline. He's extremely overweight, but continues to eat and work out whenever.
Everything we have is in my name. The house, the trucks, the bills, his 4-wheeler. All mine. I pay all the bills. I have for the last three years. He pays most of his car payment, all of his 4-wheeler payment, and some of the auto insurance for his truck. The rest is up to me. Yes, I have a good job. I have two degrees. I make good money. I am blessed. I thank God every day for blessing me.
He has barely spoken to me since he lost his job this time. He has decided that I am the problem in our relationship and he is unhappy. He wants nothing to do with me anymore. He doesn't feel the same about me anymore. According to him all I do is nag. I don't hang out with his friends or him.
I'll back up for a minute. All of his friends are single. All of his friends except for two are criminals, with criminal records. All of his friends do drugs. I don't like any of them. These are not the kind of people I want to hang out with at any time.
I work all day, come home cook, do chores, watch a little tv, workout, talk to mi hija, then go to bed. I have a stressful job. I work long hours, I don't have time to hang out. I don't even have the time to enjoy my own friends. During an argument yesterday I asked him, "When was the last time I went out with my friends?". He had no reply. It's been that long. I don't even remember the last time I was social.
He says I spent too much time social networking. I tweet a lot. I admit. I love it! I enjoy the connections I have made and I cherish the time I spend online.
He goes out every day and every night. His best friends own a drive thru. He basically lives there. When he is home, he's playing video games or playing with his iPhone. Oh, he does pay that bill of course.
We used to have a wonderful relationship in the beginning. We went out all the time, comedy clubs, Dave and Busters, shopping, movies, and nice dinners. That all stopped.
Part of the reason it stopped was because I got sick, really sick. I had to take a year off of work to deal with my illness (another post). I had to learn to walk again. My life changed and he resents me for it.
My husband doesn't want to be with me anymore. He wants a divorce. He's unhappy, I'm unhappy. He doesn't want to try anymore. I've given up and I'm going to let him go.