Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Whoa...

Soy soltera. Yes, you read that right, I'm single. My marriage is over. It wasn't a surprise, I've detailed my marital issues before in another post. We signed the legal separation papers last week and had them notarized. We file with the court on Friday.

I've a roller coaster of emotions, triste, anger, relief, guilt, and even happiness. This man has caused me so much stress in the last year. We have been through so much and for now it's over. He moved his stuff out on Sunday. That's right, Valentine's Day. I spent Valentine's Day watching his best friend and him move all of his possessions out of the house. After he left, I cried and went to McDonald's, ordered a grilled chicken sandwich, fries, oatmeal raisin cookies and a lemonade. I drove home sat on my bed in my underwear and ate my fattening meal while watching Solitary 4.0 on Fox Reality channel.

The saddest part of it all, mi hija is heartbroken. She spends 99% of her time worrying about me. Since she's going to college in the fall she's concerned I'll be all alone and lonely. Yes, I will be alone, but I will not be lonely.

I've been attached to someone since I was 16 years old. I've had relationship after relationship. I was a single mother at age 21. Now I can be ME. All by myself. I'm looking forward to being alone and finding out who I really am inside.

Abrazos,
Monica

13 comments:

  1. I like your positive outlook! God bless!

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  2. It gets better. Like you said you even felt happiness...

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  3. Change is always hard, but usually necessary. Like you said, you will come out of this with a better sense of self. I know it's a stressful time, but I'm so proud of your attitude, chica. Abrazos!!!

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  4. Thank you for all of your support. The comments, DM's, and @replies me more than you will ever know.

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  5. Forgive me. I wasn't checking in regularly - had no idea this was happening. Words fail me. If you need anything just shout it out. Don't carry it all alone.

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  6. Gracias Ofelia. There are so many blogs to read, I have a hard time keeping up as well.

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  7. * coming thru for the 1st time *
    Wow! Sorry to hear that. As a married man, I know how hard marriage is. Something tells me that you gave it your all. At the end of the day, that's all that you can do

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  8. They say it is better to be alone than in bad company. I believe that. And as long you go forward having a clear understanding of the value you offer, the tremendous high standard any potential mate must be prepared to meet in order to be on par with you, then you'll be a ok. We're here for you when you forget how special you are. We'll remind you. :)

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  9. Thank you Kyle and Melissa for your kind words. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat. Comments like yours really help.

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  10. Aye bendito. You'll be okay mami. Like you said this is a great time to really find out about yourself.

    I know you are a strong woman..for you are a Latina.

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  11. I had no idea you were going thru this. I'm sorry i didn't check. But don't worry girl, you are beautiful and there's plenty of fish in the sea. Now you have time to do YOU!! WEPA!! Party time!! LOL

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  12. All your comments are making me cry with tears of joy. Muchas gracias.

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