This past couple of weeks have been a nightmare:
-Mi abuelita passed away. I was in the room alone with her holding her hands when she took her last breath.
-The next week one of my good friends was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was only 27 years and the father of a one year old baby boy.
-We have a new administrator at work. She was moved to our building because of issues. No bueno. A lot of unhappy people.
Two funerals in two weeks. More crying than I have done in over a year. Everyone tells me that I am so strong. Now that's a perfect lie. I don't feel strong right now. I feel weak. I feel like running far away and never coming back.
The new boss has still not given me my assignment. School begins in a week and I have no clue what or where I'm teaching. It makes me feel unprofessional. Mi madre asked me what I'm doing to cope with all these things. I was dishonest when I replied. I'm not coping.
I've had my phone off for days. I can't communicate with anyone unless it's work related. I feel so stressed. even feel it in my heart. It's a strange feeling. My heart muscle actually hurts.
There is a teeny bit of good news. I have discovered the perfect pair of jeans for my body. Now I just need the money to purchase them :).
Wishing for a vacation,