Thursday, February 25, 2010


I adore tattoos, on myself and other people. I have one now on my arm of a Native American dreamcatcher. It's important to me because of my culture and what it represents. Dreamcatchers are tribal, they are supposed to allow good dreams to flow through and catch and hold bad dreams. I have a red "bad dream" caught in my dreamcatcher. It represents the year 2007 (another blog for another day).

I've finally decided on what my next tattoo will be and where I will put it on my body. I'm getting a blood red rose blossom on my lower back. Yep, a tramp stamp!!! I've always wanted one there but my former spouse did not approve. Now that he's out of the picture, I'm getting my tattoo. YAY!!!


Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Soy soltera. Yes, you read that right, I'm single. My marriage is over. It wasn't a surprise, I've detailed my marital issues before in another post. We signed the legal separation papers last week and had them notarized. We file with the court on Friday.

I've a roller coaster of emotions, triste, anger, relief, guilt, and even happiness. This man has caused me so much stress in the last year. We have been through so much and for now it's over. He moved his stuff out on Sunday. That's right, Valentine's Day. I spent Valentine's Day watching his best friend and him move all of his possessions out of the house. After he left, I cried and went to McDonald's, ordered a grilled chicken sandwich, fries, oatmeal raisin cookies and a lemonade. I drove home sat on my bed in my underwear and ate my fattening meal while watching Solitary 4.0 on Fox Reality channel.

The saddest part of it all, mi hija is heartbroken. She spends 99% of her time worrying about me. Since she's going to college in the fall she's concerned I'll be all alone and lonely. Yes, I will be alone, but I will not be lonely.

I've been attached to someone since I was 16 years old. I've had relationship after relationship. I was a single mother at age 21. Now I can be ME. All by myself. I'm looking forward to being alone and finding out who I really am inside.


Wednesday, February 10, 2010


My dog's name is Coda. Coda is a common Filipino name for a dog. Mi esposo came up with it since he is part Filipino and Irish. I never had a pet before. I've been allergic to most animals since I was born.

Mi esposo brought Coda home with out telling me one September evening. Mi hija ran into our bedroom to tell me we had a puppy. I was NOT pleased. I walked downstairs to the basement to see a little tiny puppy. No bigger than mi esposo's hand. She was a rescued American Staffordshire Terrier and only 4 weeks old.

It was freezing cold in the basement and Coda was crying. I immediately went into "Mom" mode and insisted she be brought upstairs where it was warmer. I picked her up and cradled her in my arms. She immediately peed on me. I handed her over to mi hija and changed shirts. I didn't think she would last long in our house.

I have allergies and asthma, so within a week of Coda and all her dander, I had a severe attack and had to be hospitalized. The puppy had to go. Mi esposo's friend Brian and his girlfriend Jessica agreed to take her while we figured something out. That was the worst week ever. Mi esposo y mi hija were muy triste. I decided to talk to my doctor and see what could be done.

I agreed to have a series of allergy shots to see if it would help. It did. Coda came back and everyone was so happy, even me. She was a funny little dog. Her head was the biggest thing on her and she kept falling over and crying all night long.

We all took turns getting up with her at night and bottle feeding her Espilac (puppy formula). She became part of the family. Coda is now one of my best friends. She follows me around, loves to go "bye bye", and lives for short walks around the neighborhood. Coda is sweet and kind, she loves everyone, especially children. She doesn't NOT like other dogs though. She won't start a fight, but she will finish one.

An American Staffordshire Terrier is part of the bully breeds. She is considered dangerous because of her blood connection to Pit Bull Terriers. Coda is NOT dangerous. It is the owner, not the breed. She is the most caring and gentle dog I have ever been around. BSL (breed specific legislation) is unfair and completely biased.

Coda has been by my side through thick and thin. She is loyal, comical, and part of my heart. I love her like I love my family.