Monday, February 21, 2011

Real Talk!

A couple of days ago I discovered a video by Chris Brown "No Bullshit". I had of course heard the song played for over a year. I never took the time to watch the video. I have an issue with Chris. I personally think he's a punk bitch for what he did to Rihanna, but that's another subject for another day.

I couldn't/can't stop watching the video. I was/am mesmerized. Almost everything sexual I like to do was featured, in hazy graphic detail. Damn. DAMN. To the detail. Lately all I can think about is sex. I feel like a teenage boy. Is this normal? Am I the only woman over 30 that does this? Help me out bellas? I'm starting to think I need therapy!

Ayudame,
Monica

Sunday, February 20, 2011

All Night ...


Seriously no bullshit,
Monica

Monday, February 14, 2011

Here...

Triste,
Monica

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Laughing Out Loud!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.   (I would do it for you. Bookmarks as well.)
                  
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.  
                  
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.  
                  
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.  
                  
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?  
                  
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?   (NO!!)
                  
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
                                     
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
                  
9. Bad decisions make good stories.  (The reason for my blog!)
                  
10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.    (2:05 pm) 
                  
11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.  
                  
12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.  
                  
 13. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.   (We ALL do this, don't judge me.)
                  
 14. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.  
                  
 15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay Jewelers. (Who's watching me? *nervous*)
                  
 16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.  
                  
 17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.  
                  
 18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?  (Three. Three times is okay.)
                  
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!  
                  
20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 
                  
21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.  
                  
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.  
                  
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.   (I love men, pobrecitos.)



**Sent to me via email. Author unknown.


Enjoy,
Monica

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Jersey Shore...

Last weekend I had the best conversation with an Italian man. An absolutely gorgeous, single Italian man...Okay, I'm back. Somehow the show "Jersey Shore" was brought up. He told me that the show was an embarrassment to their culture and real Italians hate it. The term guido is a slur, a bad word. Not something to be proud of in any way.

I had heard rumors of this, but had never taken the time to actually listen to the reasons why. Watching "Jersey Shore" is one of my guilty pleasures. I look forward to MTV at 10:00 pm on Thursdays. I start posting *fist pump* on Facebook and #tshirttime on Twitter hours before the show starts. Snooki and JWoww are my girls. I want to do inappropriate things with DJ Pauly D. Now I have a little bit of a conscience. Am I feeding into the stereotypes? Am I part of the problem?

I will still continue to watch, but I'm watching informed. Thanks to S. Who by the way made last weekend fantastic, but that's another blog for another day. Maybe :).

Ciao,
Monica

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

One of a teacher's favorite phrases!!

Going back to bed,
Monica