Monday, December 17, 2012


You called me yesterday afternoon. In a few minutes you could tell something was wrong. After badgering me about it, I told you I was in pain. The annoyance in your voice was clear. You told me about your problems. Everyone has issues you reminded me.

I struggled the rest of the day. I wanted to head to the ER but I didn’t have the money. I also didn’t know what to do and wanted suggestions on making me feel better. I called you. That was a big mistake. When I told you I was still in pain you said, "not again". "I’m tired of all your health problems". "Enough is enough!!" you yelled at me. You accused me of wanting attention. You told me the hospital would write in my file that I was crazy. "The pain is in your head Monica".

I hung up the phone with you. I will never call you again. I will never speak to you about anything important again. No matter how many times you ask. No matter how many times you pressure me into admitting something is wrong. If I tell you what’s going on in my life, I’m complaining. If I tell you everything is fine, you say I’m lying.

I realize you don’t understand what it feels like to have the health issues that I do. You have been blessed with good health. You go to the doctor a couple times of year. You take only one medication. Since I was 2 years old I’ve been in the hospital. I have severe asthma, allergies, a blood clotting disorder, and connective tissue disease. I take 12 medications a day. I would give anything to be a healthy normal person like you. If you were me for one day, you wouldn’t survive the entire 24 hours.

I don’t trust you anymore. I don’t even love you right now. I’m tired of being a burden to you. I realize I’m not what you wanted or expected of a daughter. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment.

Tu hija,


  1. Though yours may be, all pain isn't physical. I think your mother is just frustrated that she can't take the pain away for you. Everyone doesn't respond the same way to something like that. That feeling of helplessness must be painful in itself.

  2. I wish that explained her behavior and reaction Reggie.

  3. Yeah I've got relatives too.....I understand.

  4. I'm putting some space between us for awhile. Better for everyone involved.

    Families are a challenge. Especially around the holidays.