Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Mi Madre...

Yesterday was my mother's birthday. She didn't want gifts, just her children y su nene over for dinner. Sounds simple right? It should have been.

My Dad picked up chicken from some unknown place and my Mom cooked a bunch of sides. My new meds don't allow me to drink soda, so I couldn't drink anything and I wasn't hungry. She was immediately offended and proceeded to make comments under her breath for the rest of the dinner.

Every who knows me knows I am under dietary restrictions. If I don't know where it came from and what it's made of, I don't eat it. I don't make a big deal about it either. I stay quiet and eat what I can, when I can.

Time for dessert. There were two choices, a double chocolate cake and an apple pie. No chocolate, but the apple pie would be okay as long as I ate a small piece. I guess my piece wasn't so small to her. In front of everyone she says, "Oh, I see what you're eating, sweets. Obviously you have been eating SOMETHING over there". Her words were like a hot knife cutting through my wrist. Her ojos full of disappointment.

I am so hurt and saddened by her comments. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. First mi esposo emotionally and verbally abuses me and mi madre finishes me off. There is only so much a person can take.

Why am I so hurt? Mi madre has always been thin her entire life. Even after having her babies. She was so happy that I was thin as well. Until I got really sick in 2007. After that she constantly makes comments about my weight. My sister-in-law is super thin, so at the table I looked like the elephant in the room.
 
I've finally snapped. I haven't eaten much of anything since Sunday. It makes it easy since I have zero dolares. I've lost interest in everything and everyone one.

Triste y sola,

Monica

8 comments:

  1. Sometimes we hurt so much and so deeply the ones we love the most. And its so sad and its so wrong and its inexcusable. Especially when our very families, the ones we are supposed to turn to in times of sadness and distress are intentionally or unintentionally cruel. All i can say Monica is I feel your pain. I've been there so, so many times. I've never been naturally thin and have battled with my weight my entire life. My family has always been quick to point out how much better my sister would look in a similar outfit than I did because she was naturally thin and I was not.

    Before you were your mothers daughter, you were God's daughter. God knew you and loved every bit of you before your existence was even known about. And he still loves you. In the midst of your separation, divorce, illness. He will always love you and never judge you. Lean on him now. You need Him closer to you than ever before.

    And what do you say to your mother? That she was rude and she hurt your feelings and you need to distance yourself from her for a while until you feel a little better. That now is the time when you need her support in her life more than ever, just as you were supporting her by attending her party in the midst of all of your sorrow. Perhaps you can say that. But I'm not really sure, especially since my mother and I barely even talk.

    You are still in my prayers Monica, as always. Have a blessed night my dear friend. ::hugs::

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  2. Thank you so much bella. I needed to read those words. I didn't respond to her, it will only bring about an argument. I am keeping my distance away from everyone right now. I am staying at home, my safe place. ((abrazos))

    You are in my prayers as well.

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  3. This has got to stop! You need to tell your mother (and anyone else putting you through the same for that matter) that her comments are HURTING you and that they are NOT welcomed! I am sorry to have to read you're through this. It is totally unacceptable.

    First of all, you are an adult woman that does not need to put up with ANY form of ABUSE from others. Secondly, you are going through a very difficult transition in your life. The last you need is for people to bring you DOWN! If anything, you need people's love and support more than anything at this time.

    I say you sit down and have a serious talk with your mother about this. It's one thing for her to be concerned about your health and another to make rude, insulting or sarcastic comments. And if she really wants to help you, how about LISTENING to you and ASKING you how she can go about doing that. Now is not the time you need her to be judgmental. Now is the time you need her to be your MOTHER!

    Again, I am so sorry to read you are going through this. Que Dios te ayude! And if certain individuals can't understand or respect your needs right now, then maybe it's time to take a little break from people who are only contributing to make you feel worse.

    Abrazos de todo corazon!

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  4. This has got to stop! You need to tell your mother (and anyone else putting you through the same for that matter) that her comments are HURTING you and that they are NOT welcomed! I am sorry to have to read you're through this. It is totally unacceptable.

    First of all, you are an adult woman that does not need to put up with ANY form of ABUSE from others. Secondly, you are going through a very difficult transition in your life. The last you need is for people to bring you DOWN! If anything, you need people's love and support more than anything at this time.

    I say you sit down and have a serious talk with your mother about this. It's one thing for her to be concerned about your health and another to make rude, insulting or sarcastic comments. And if she really wants to help you, how about LISTENING to you and ASKING you how she can go about doing that. Now is not the time you need her to be judgmental. Now is the time you need her to be your MOTHER!

    Again, I am so sorry to read you are going through this. Que Dios te ayude! And if certain individuals can't understand or respect your needs right now, then maybe it's time to take a little break from people who are only contributing to make you feel worse.

    Abrazos de todo corazon

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  5. I totally agree with you. This HAS got to stop. If my own Mother kicks me when I'm down, what kind of hope do I have?

    Thanks for taking the time to stop by my blog and give me good advice. I've been hiding in my house since Sunday. I haven't even been on Twitter.

    Abrazos y besos Sra. Cano ;)

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  6. Ay, hermana...It's so sad when the ones we should be able to depend on during our difficult times only add to our difficulties... I think that staying away for awhile is probably best. You don't need any more stress or arguments about this situation. But if your mother wonders why, let her know that you have to look out for yourself. If she can't be supportive, then you need to minimize contact until she can be.

    I love what latinabella said: Before you were your mother's daughter, you were God's daughter. And God didn't put you here to be miserable. He has a purpose for your life and you shouldn't let anyone keep you from it.

    As always, you are in my prayers. Que Dios te cuide. (((Abrazos)))

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  7. Reading over all the perfect advice A, M, y C have given me. It took 3 years, but I finally truly listened. I have reduced contact with mi madre. I have only seen her 5 times this year. I have established personal boundaries and have prayerfully let her go.

    Gracias mil bellas.

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  8. I'm glad to hear that you are finally practicing some self-care. It's hard when it's your own mother you have to create distance from, but you have to take care of you. Only allow people into your life if they add something positive. I'm praying your mother will soon figure out how to help, rather than hurt you. In the meantime, I hope your spirit is finally healing. CuĂ­date, hermana.

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