Thursday, August 29, 2013


Perfect word to describe me. I'm taking meds that are supposed to help my RA but the side effects are horrific. This school year is off to an awful start. My schedule is a nightmare. I teach five classes in a row with no break. I thought I had it bad last year. Oh no, five hours without any access to a restroom is torture. I don't even drink water because I am scared of having to go to the bathroom. By the time 3:05 pm comes around I have severe stomach pains and my throat is dry. I know I am dehydrated.

Our teacher's union is useless and weak so I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal with this for the next 184 days. I never smile anymore. I don't speak to anyone at work unless I have to when I have hall duty in the morning. I've sent away for my disability retirement packet on Monday. I feel awful leaving my students, but for once I have to do what is right for me.

My plan is to relocate to Alaska. I want a nice small house that is big enough for my dog Coda and me. I also want a guest cabin if anyone wants to come out to visit. I have to have indoor plumbing, a fridge, running water, a fenced in backyard area, and city utilities. I'd love to live in Trapper Creek. Next fall I want to take a trip to Alaska to see how things really are up there. If I see it's not possible to relocate there, I'll move to someplace else cold and snowy.

I'm totally okay being alone. I don't have to disappoint anyone and no one can hurt me.

Counting the days until I am free,


  1. Ay, bella. You are such a giver. You give all of yourself out of the kindness of your heart, but you also need to take care of yourself. Please don't put this off any longer. Just do what you have to do to be healthy and be happy again. I just want to give you a hug.

    On a totally different note, an Alaskan cruise sounds amazing. I hear it is spectacular. I have thought about doing an Alaskan cruise myself. And although I don't want to move to Alaska lol, I too would eventually like to move some place with a cooler climate. IDK about snow, but I love overcast weather and light drizzles :)

  2. I am going to do something for myself this time M. I'm working on the paperwork this weekend. I will miss the students more than anything. I wish you could give me a hug too...

    I would love for you to come and visit me. Either here in Ohio or when I move to Alaska ;).