Life On Disability

Those of you that have been with me for awhile know that I had to go on disability leave from my teaching job. I had no choice. My employer gave me the choice between no job or disability. I chose to go through the disability nightmare.

I refer to going on disability leave as a nightmare because in my opinion it is one. A big scary one. Here is my story.

I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis by my primary care doctor and my Rheumatologist. I was put on Plaquenil for 2 months. It didn't help and made my hair turn brittle and fall out by the handful. Dr. Z then suggested I take Methotrexate. He would start me out slowly and gradually increase the dosage depending on my progress.

I ended up on the maximum dosage of Methotrexate. My body couldn't handle it and I kept getting sick to my stomach, passing out, and unable to keep down what little food I ate. I missed a lot of work and had no more sick days. That's when I got the notice about losing my position.

I went through all the medical exams, meetings, and tons of paperwork. Three months later my disability leave was approved. Everything changed at that moment.

When you are on disability you will be broke. The medical bills will pile up and the insurance plan offered may cover 15-20% of the cost. The reason you are on disability is because you're ill, the financial stress you will be under will make you feel worse.

It's tough to pay bills when you have a job, even more difficult when you don't. House payment, utilities, food, medications, doctor/hospital co-pays, student loan debt, and so much more loom over your head every month.

The disability payment you will receive will not even come close to paying all the bills. Depending on the terms of your leave you may be allowed to work. If you do find a job this will trigger a re-evaluation. Catch-22 situation.

You will be monitored and followed to make sure you are ill. I'm sure it's because people lie and fake it to get out of work. I have no idea why someone would do this because being on disability leave is not fun. It's stressful and should only be taken if you have no other option.

This has been the saddest I have ever been. It's lonely and frustrating. Little to no human contact other than doctor appointments.

If you know someone that is disabled and unable to work please pray for them. Ask them if they would like a card, a
visit, or a phone call. Isolation is not healthy.

I wanted to share with you the reality of life on disability. The cold, hard truth. If you ever find yourself in this situation it will be rough, but you can survive. I'm proof of it.

Take care,
Monica

July 13, 2007

This is probably one of the most difficult blog posts I will ever have to write.

On July 13, 2007 I woke up excited. Mi esposo and I were going to a Def Leppard concert with two of our close friends. I had always wanted to see them in concert. I'm a HUGE fan of 80's hair bands. That morning I woke up and got out of bed. I fell on the floor when I tried to stand. I got up and tried to take a step and fell again. Strange. My legs felt like jelly. I called to mi hija and mi esposo. We all thought is was funny and that I would be fine shortly.

I wasn't fine. After a few minutes we all knew something was terribly wrong. I had lost the ability to walk over night. Mi esposo rushed me to the ER. The staff ran several tests and discovered my CED rate was almost 200 (that's really bad, it's supposed to be around 20). All my blood work was off. I was admitted, given all sorts of medical exams and more testing. After a week I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called Undefined Connective Tissue Disease, UCTD.

UCTD happens when your immune system attacks your connective tissue. In my case it attacked the muscles in my legs. I suffered severe atrophy of those muscles and had to take lots of Prednisone (a steroid), pain medications, and Plaquenil (to calm my immune system).

This is a disease that cannot be cured. In my case it was brought on by extreme stress. I'll briefly explain what was going on during the middle of my 2006-2007 school year.

In January of 2007 I was verbally and physically assaulted by someone I work with on a regular basis. He accused me of something I did NOT do and hurt me at work. I told my principal at the time, who has since been fired for misappropriation of school funds, and she took a full report. Nothing was done. It was my word against his best friend, the woman he was sleeping with and of course his version.

I was told by the administration not to go to the police or I would lose my job. I am the only health insurance carrier for my family. I had no choice. I needed my job, so I 'sucked' it up and continued to work with this person. It was a nightmare. I was always waiting for something else to happen (I still am). I had to talk mi padre and mi esposo down on a weekly basis from taking any sort of action against him.

Fast forward to the present. I still have UCTD. It affects every part of my body and was partially to blame for the cardiac event I suffered on Tuesday. I have to use crutches on a semi-regular basis and take 8 pills a day to keep me going. I have a permanent handicapped placard on my rear view mirror. I'm still here though. I'm still trying to smile and be my old self.

Taking one hour at a time,
Monica