Tuesday, December 21, 2010


It's four days before Christmas. One of my favorite holidays. I haven't done anything to prepare for it:
    -no Christmas cards sent
    -no gifts bought for anyone other than mi sobrinito
    -no food purchased
    -no plans made.

I'm sitting here on my lunch break at work bawling my eyes out watching depressing videos on AOL music. I'm so sad I can't even function. I know I have to get myself together. Christmas will be here. Mi hija is home from college. I know she's wondering what's wrong with me. Why I'm not my usual self. Why I'm not running around like crazy. Why I haven't bought any presents or wrapped any gifts.

Maybe it's because I am sad. This has been an awful year. I have been through so much. I've held it all together for so long. I've put up with so much. I've given to everyone. I've been everyone's support system. I've tried to make everyone happy.

I look back on 2010 and see a bunch of sadness, hurt, and pain. I see a man that promised to love and respect me before God hurt me and leave me over and over again. I've seen my baby girl grow up and move far away. I've had mi madre make comments that sliced my heart open. I've been near death and transported via ambulance to the hospital.

I don't know how much more of this year I can take...



  1. It sounds like you've had a few challenges this year, maybe more than most people.

    The holidays are exhilarating for many of us and depressing for many of us as well.

    Try not to focus so much on your challenges, they are there to make us stronger and remind us that we're human and subject to such things.

    Count your blessings......you have them.

  2. 2010 was a mean one, but I survived and it made stronger. Thank you so much for taking the time to post words of encouragement!