I've been in love with exactly three men. All of them have "Mother" issues. Intrigued? Read on!
Let's begin with R, my first love. I've known him since we were in middle school. I had the biggest crush on him and he never paid any attention to me. He actually never paid any attention to anyone. R was super shy, even though he was muy guapo. When we moved on to high school, he made the football team and his confidence started to grow. R found his voice and started to make friends. Long story short, we became novios. I found out why he was so quiet, he was the youngest in a large family and never got any attention. His mother was a nurse and she worked long hours taking care of elderly patients in a nursing home. R loved his Mom so much, but never saw her. He always felt neglected and unloved. He bounced from girl to girl looking for the female attention he didn't receive at home.We broke up over this. R is married and still putting himself "out" there.
My heart healed and I fell in love a second time. I met S in college, the second week of my freshman year! I was so excited to finally turn 18 years old and be allowed to go to a fraternity party. My friends and I were muy borrachas so we were going house to house looking for more alcohol. I saw S sitting on the floor all by himself at the last house. I thought he looked sad, so I sat down next to him to cheer him up (I'm a magnet for a sad guy). Fast forward we dated for four years, and he's the father of mi hija. His mother spoiled him rotten. Whatever S wanted/wants she provided/provides for him. He had no idea how to do anything for himself then and he still doesn't now.
The third time is the charm right? I put another Hello Kitty bandaid on my battered and bruised heart and fell in love again. I married N. Our history goes back a long time, just like his issues with his mother. I should have known when he told me he would trade his mother in for a watch, that we would have a rough marriage. A man that HATES his mother will struggle in any type of relationship with a woman. She's kicked him out of the house, treated him like a stranger, abused him, and played mind games with N his entire life. I don't blame him for disliking her. She is partly to blame for turning him into the person he is today.
Thoughts??
Monica
Ay, mother issues are so complicated! Too attached and you will never have his complete loyalty; too antagonistic and he won't trust any woman. *sigh* These need to be warning signals to every woman. There are plenty of men who have healthy respect and love for their mothers...a normal relationship without going too far in either direction. Hold out for one of those, mama. Those are the keepers! :)
ReplyDeleteYou're 100% right Chela, but my heart has had enough. She's battered and tired. Time out ;). Maybe one day...
ReplyDeleteI love my mother dearly, but I could never be a "mama's boy". At some point in time we have to grow up and get off "the tit" and walk on our own two feet.
ReplyDeleteWhether it's too much love or not enouogh, it really doesn't matter. A real man doesn't have issues like that. Where do you find these men?!? It's as if they all fell out of the same tree.
Oh........and why do we have to get relegated to being known by our first initial? My SO refers to me like that too.
Reggie, I have a special talent for finding men with serious issues. Mi familia and friends have informed me my next true love will be voted on American Idol style.
ReplyDeleteAs for being known by your first initial, it makes it easier to keep track of you all ;).