Some scars are on the inside...
Taking one day at a time,
Monica
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Nozze
Those are just the negative happenings around a school building. There are many, many more positives. The messy little faces that run up to you for hugs at the end of the day. The piles of interesting gifts on your desk around the holidays. A parent that stops by just to tell you that you're her child's favorite teacher.
During my first year of teaching I met a student who did not speak very good English. Her name was Pina. I read her file and discovered that she always came about 2 weeks late into the school year because she was in Italy on holiday. The day she arrived I knew she would be special to me.
Pina stayed with me during recess everyday practicing English and helping me grade papers and clean the classroom. I always tried to encourage her to go outside, but she never wanted to go. She did this the entire school year.
The next year we both changed grades. I was now teaching a higher grade and Pina had made friends over the summer. We still kept in touch all through her schooling. I was there for her communion, her high school graduation, and her college graduation. If you know anything about big Italian celebrations, you are made to feel like family. Plus you don't leave until you are FULL. Mama says so!
Pina was recently married in Italy to the love of her life on August 4, 2010. I was invited to go, but I was sick and could not make the journey. I told her I was there in spirit. Teaching is so much more than just a paycheck.
Complimenti,
Monica
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Mi Madre...
Yesterday was my mother's birthday. She didn't want gifts, just her children y su nene over for dinner. Sounds simple right? It should have been.
My Dad picked up chicken from some unknown place and my Mom cooked a bunch of sides. My new meds don't allow me to drink soda, so I couldn't drink anything and I wasn't hungry. She was immediately offended and proceeded to make comments under her breath for the rest of the dinner.
Every who knows me knows I am under dietary restrictions. If I don't know where it came from and what it's made of, I don't eat it. I don't make a big deal about it either. I stay quiet and eat what I can, when I can.
Time for dessert. There were two choices, a double chocolate cake and an apple pie. No chocolate, but the apple pie would be okay as long as I ate a small piece. I guess my piece wasn't so small to her. In front of everyone she says, "Oh, I see what you're eating, sweets. Obviously you have been eating SOMETHING over there". Her words were like a hot knife cutting through my wrist. Her ojos full of disappointment.
I am so hurt and saddened by her comments. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. First mi esposo emotionally and verbally abuses me and mi madre finishes me off. There is only so much a person can take.
Why am I so hurt? Mi madre has always been thin her entire life. Even after having her babies. She was so happy that I was thin as well. Until I got really sick in 2007. After that she constantly makes comments about my weight. My sister-in-law is super thin, so at the table I looked like the elephant in the room.
I've finally snapped. I haven't eaten much of anything since Sunday. It makes it easy since I have zero dolares. I've lost interest in everything and everyone one.
Triste y sola,
Monica
My Dad picked up chicken from some unknown place and my Mom cooked a bunch of sides. My new meds don't allow me to drink soda, so I couldn't drink anything and I wasn't hungry. She was immediately offended and proceeded to make comments under her breath for the rest of the dinner.
Every who knows me knows I am under dietary restrictions. If I don't know where it came from and what it's made of, I don't eat it. I don't make a big deal about it either. I stay quiet and eat what I can, when I can.
Time for dessert. There were two choices, a double chocolate cake and an apple pie. No chocolate, but the apple pie would be okay as long as I ate a small piece. I guess my piece wasn't so small to her. In front of everyone she says, "Oh, I see what you're eating, sweets. Obviously you have been eating SOMETHING over there". Her words were like a hot knife cutting through my wrist. Her ojos full of disappointment.
I am so hurt and saddened by her comments. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. First mi esposo emotionally and verbally abuses me and mi madre finishes me off. There is only so much a person can take.
Why am I so hurt? Mi madre has always been thin her entire life. Even after having her babies. She was so happy that I was thin as well. Until I got really sick in 2007. After that she constantly makes comments about my weight. My sister-in-law is super thin, so at the table I looked like the elephant in the room.
I've finally snapped. I haven't eaten much of anything since Sunday. It makes it easy since I have zero dolares. I've lost interest in everything and everyone one.
Triste y sola,
Monica
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The perfect man...
If I could create the perfect man here's how he would be:
-honest (I almost always find out if you lie)
-spiritual (know that there is Someone all knowing and powerful in our lives)
-loyal (to me, to himself, his job, and others)
-tough (can kick ass if necessary)
-employed (we're in a recession gente)
-good sense of humor (if you make me laugh, you've almost won me over)
-faithful (sharing is NOT caring)
-sensitive (hug me when I cry, enjoy cooing at babies in the store)
-affectionate (I LOVE to kiss, besame mucho)
-good hygiene (a soapy washcloth, hot water and deodorant should be your best friends)
-respectful (you must have respect in order to truly love another)
I'm not asking for much, just the basics.
Amor,
Monica
-honest (I almost always find out if you lie)
-spiritual (know that there is Someone all knowing and powerful in our lives)
-loyal (to me, to himself, his job, and others)
-tough (can kick ass if necessary)
-employed (we're in a recession gente)
-good sense of humor (if you make me laugh, you've almost won me over)
-faithful (sharing is NOT caring)
-sensitive (hug me when I cry, enjoy cooing at babies in the store)
-affectionate (I LOVE to kiss, besame mucho)
-good hygiene (a soapy washcloth, hot water and deodorant should be your best friends)
-respectful (you must have respect in order to truly love another)
I'm not asking for much, just the basics.
Amor,
Monica
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Who Rules the World?
Kat Stacks is out of jail and already back to her ignorant ways. Hate to say I told you so.
She's still not admitting her guilt and blames others for her incarceration. I give her a month to go back to her old ways. Shame on you Kat Stacks.
Disappointed,
Monica
Update!! 04-03-2012
Kat Stacks has changed her ways, well at least in print. Andrea Herrera better known as Kat Stacks, has been in Immigration jail since November 10, 2010. While perusing her new Twitter account tweets (she's changed her Twitter name from "@ihatekatstacks" to "@TheKatStacks") most posts seem upbeat and friendly. This is a huge difference from her Myspace and World Star Hip Hop videos in the past.
Kat is most well known for putting rappers 'on blast' by giving out their phone numbers and intimate details. According to Kat that was the old her. She wants to spread positivity instead of hate and drama. We'll see what happens when she is released. Many close to her have said she plans on writing her memoirs and she will be naming names.
I'm going to write to her and see if she will open up to me. I'd like to know when she's going to be released from jail and what her plans are for the future. If you'd like to write to Kat yourself, below is her address:
Andrea Herrera
#A077712275
P.O. Box 560
Trout, LA 71371
Intrigued,
Monica
**Warning adult language and content.
While perusing the trending topics on Twitter today, I kept coming across a name, Kat Stacks. Since I'm naturally inquisitive it was my goal to find out who this woman was and why she stirs up so much controversy.
Imagine my shock when I googled her and found out she's a gold-digger who is proud of sleeping with and/or giving blowjobs to famous rappers and athletes. When she didn't get her way or was having some kind of mental breakdown she posted sensitive information about some of these men on her Twitter stream.
It gets worse. Now there is a video going around that shows her being intimidated by a group of men. The comments posted were shocking. Many were cheering these men on. These are some of the same screen names that wanted to burn Chris Brown at the stake. Domestic violence is wrong, always.
I'm afraid for our youth, los jovenes. Women like Kat Stacks and Nicki Minaj are popular right now. These are not role models. Just because someone has a dick doesn't mean they rule the world. Young women AND young men get off your knees. Show some self respect.
Concerned,
Monica
She's still not admitting her guilt and blames others for her incarceration. I give her a month to go back to her old ways. Shame on you Kat Stacks.
Disappointed,
Monica
Update!! 04-03-2012
Kat Stacks has changed her ways, well at least in print. Andrea Herrera better known as Kat Stacks, has been in Immigration jail since November 10, 2010. While perusing her new Twitter account tweets (she's changed her Twitter name from "@ihatekatstacks" to "@TheKatStacks") most posts seem upbeat and friendly. This is a huge difference from her Myspace and World Star Hip Hop videos in the past.
Kat is most well known for putting rappers 'on blast' by giving out their phone numbers and intimate details. According to Kat that was the old her. She wants to spread positivity instead of hate and drama. We'll see what happens when she is released. Many close to her have said she plans on writing her memoirs and she will be naming names.
I'm going to write to her and see if she will open up to me. I'd like to know when she's going to be released from jail and what her plans are for the future. If you'd like to write to Kat yourself, below is her address:
Andrea Herrera
#A077712275
P.O. Box 560
Trout, LA 71371
Intrigued,
Monica
**Warning adult language and content.
While perusing the trending topics on Twitter today, I kept coming across a name, Kat Stacks. Since I'm naturally inquisitive it was my goal to find out who this woman was and why she stirs up so much controversy.
Imagine my shock when I googled her and found out she's a gold-digger who is proud of sleeping with and/or giving blowjobs to famous rappers and athletes. When she didn't get her way or was having some kind of mental breakdown she posted sensitive information about some of these men on her Twitter stream.
It gets worse. Now there is a video going around that shows her being intimidated by a group of men. The comments posted were shocking. Many were cheering these men on. These are some of the same screen names that wanted to burn Chris Brown at the stake. Domestic violence is wrong, always.
I'm afraid for our youth, los jovenes. Women like Kat Stacks and Nicki Minaj are popular right now. These are not role models. Just because someone has a dick doesn't mean they rule the world. Young women AND young men get off your knees. Show some self respect.
Concerned,
Monica
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Latinas only...
THE PHONE CALL...
La Mama: 'Hello?'
La Hija: 'Hi Mama. Can I leave the boys with you tonight?'
'You're going out?'
'Yes.'
'Con quien?'
'With a friend.'
"I don't know why you left your husband. Siempe te queria and he was such a good man.'
'Mom. I didn't leave him. He left me!'
'You let him leave you, and now you go out with these anybodies and nobodies.'
'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the boys?'
'Ni una ves te deje to go out with anybody, except your father.'
'There are lots of things you did and I simply refuse.'
'Que quieres deceir?'
'Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.'
'You're going to stay the night with him? Pues que va decir tu esposo?'
'MA!!! HE'S NOT MY ESPOSO...HE'S MY EX HUSBAND!! I don't think he would be bothered considering the day he left me, he's never slept alone!'
'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?'
'MOM, HE'S NOT A LOSER!'
'Un hombre no debe salir con una mujer divorciada y con ninos? No tiene verguenza!'
'MA, I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE; SHOULD I BRING OVER THE BOYS OR NOT?'
'Mis pobres nietos with such a mother.'
'SUCH A WHAT?'
'Sin estabilidad!!. No wonder your husband left you.'
'ENOUGH MA!!!'
'No me grites! You probably scream at the loser too!'
'GREAT MA, now you're worried about the loser?'
'AH HA! VES, I TOLD YOU...HE IS A LOSER. I SPOTTED HIM IMMEDIATELY!'
'GOODBYE, MOTHER!'
"ESPERATE...DON'T HANG UP! QUANDO VAS A TRAER MIS ANGELITOS? '
'I'M NOT BRINGING THEM OVER! I'M NOT GOING OUT!"
'AYE DIOS MIO!!! IF YOU NEVER GO OUT, HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO MEET ANYONE?
Besos,
Monica
La Mama: 'Hello?'
La Hija: 'Hi Mama. Can I leave the boys with you tonight?'
'You're going out?'
'Yes.'
'Con quien?'
'With a friend.'
"I don't know why you left your husband. Siempe te queria and he was such a good man.'
'Mom. I didn't leave him. He left me!'
'You let him leave you, and now you go out with these anybodies and nobodies.'
'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the boys?'
'Ni una ves te deje to go out with anybody, except your father.'
'There are lots of things you did and I simply refuse.'
'Que quieres deceir?'
'Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.'
'You're going to stay the night with him? Pues que va decir tu esposo?'
'MA!!! HE'S NOT MY ESPOSO...HE'S MY EX HUSBAND!! I don't think he would be bothered considering the day he left me, he's never slept alone!'
'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?'
'MOM, HE'S NOT A LOSER!'
'Un hombre no debe salir con una mujer divorciada y con ninos? No tiene verguenza!'
'MA, I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE; SHOULD I BRING OVER THE BOYS OR NOT?'
'Mis pobres nietos with such a mother.'
'SUCH A WHAT?'
'Sin estabilidad!!. No wonder your husband left you.'
'ENOUGH MA!!!'
'No me grites! You probably scream at the loser too!'
'GREAT MA, now you're worried about the loser?'
'AH HA! VES, I TOLD YOU...HE IS A LOSER. I SPOTTED HIM IMMEDIATELY!'
'GOODBYE, MOTHER!'
"ESPERATE...DON'T HANG UP! QUANDO VAS A TRAER MIS ANGELITOS? '
'I'M NOT BRINGING THEM OVER! I'M NOT GOING OUT!"
'AYE DIOS MIO!!! IF YOU NEVER GO OUT, HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO MEET ANYONE?
Besos,
Monica
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Friends...
Mi madre always drilled in our heads, "You will only have a few true friends, but many acquaintances". As I get older, I've come to learn that she was right. Then Twitter came into my life and flipped the script.
As many of of you know, this has been a rough couple of years for me. My health, job issues, a failed marriage, and too much stress have equaled an ongoing nightmare. I don't like sharing my pain and problems with others. I hate to feel like I'm a burden, but then someone in Twitterland sends me a DM or a tweet, because they...care!
The number of quality people on Twitter amazes me everyday. I have found support, laughter, a little flirting, and an outlet to vent and be myself. The real me! I can be overly talkative, naughty, sad, happy, angry, and weepy and someone will be there for me through all my ups and downs.
I can't tell you how many times I have been so low I've wanted to run away and never come back. On those days I've logged in made some mysterious tweet and *BAM* I feel better within the hour.
Thanks to each and everyone of you that have made me smile, cried with me, been inappropriately bad with me, and most of all put up with my rants. I don't want to make a list and leave someone off. You know who you are, and I'm sending Twitter love to all of you.
Hugs, kisses, abrazos y besos,
Monica
As many of of you know, this has been a rough couple of years for me. My health, job issues, a failed marriage, and too much stress have equaled an ongoing nightmare. I don't like sharing my pain and problems with others. I hate to feel like I'm a burden, but then someone in Twitterland sends me a DM or a tweet, because they...care!
The number of quality people on Twitter amazes me everyday. I have found support, laughter, a little flirting, and an outlet to vent and be myself. The real me! I can be overly talkative, naughty, sad, happy, angry, and weepy and someone will be there for me through all my ups and downs.
I can't tell you how many times I have been so low I've wanted to run away and never come back. On those days I've logged in made some mysterious tweet and *BAM* I feel better within the hour.
Thanks to each and everyone of you that have made me smile, cried with me, been inappropriately bad with me, and most of all put up with my rants. I don't want to make a list and leave someone off. You know who you are, and I'm sending Twitter love to all of you.
Hugs, kisses, abrazos y besos,
Monica
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