Heartless

Warning:  This post will contain adult language and situations.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I throw so much of my hard earned money away for a stupid ass son of a bitch? You've read my blog posts. Ten years of putting up with bullshit. Ten years of tears, lies, and drugs. EVERYONE told me to run.  I was in love with the idea of love. When you marry someone the relationship should be 50/50, not 95/5.

Don't get the shit twisted, I love you, but I will not be your ride or die chick ever again. You've got a new chick. Good luck with that bitch. You two deserve each other.

Don't even think of doing anything to get back at me. I know everything. Everything. You haven't seen crazy if you mess with my family or me again. That Monica is dead.

Heartless,
Monica

The List

I tried to give you the world when we were married. You didn't have a job so I co-signed for an SUV and made most of the payments on it. I bought you an entire new wardrobe including shoes so you would look good at your new job.

After that job and the SUV fell apart, I co-signed for a new car and again helped out with your payments. Another job loss happened so I paid most of the car payments again.

Finally you were able to get your old job back again and things were going well. you convinced me to help you buy a 4-wheeler so you could stay home more often. That did not happen. You were gone more.

I was sad at home all the time. Now you needed a truck to haul your 4-wheeler. Another co-sign and more money out of my pocket. You were the winner in our relationship. I bought you anything you wanted. I let you do whatever you wanted.

I only wanted one thing from you and you couldn't even do that. Now you've found someone else. A country girl who is everything I'm not. That's what your personal ad asked for. I'm sure she'll make you happy. You two can sit around and get high and compare criminal stories, good for you. You never did anything for me other than pretend to care about me when I was sick. I was a burden to you. That was clear.

Don't worry about defending me or trying to help me. I can get the $ from Alex someway. I'm used to guys trying to take advantage of my kindness. I had 10 years of practice. I won't be erasing this blog. The truth will set us free.

Just,
Monica Lynn (Sorry I couldn't be Natalie Alice)

Done.

I'm letting go. No more thinking about what could have been or could be. I'm so tired of being emotionally attached to you. No more tears. No more sad phone calls or text messages. Time to move on for real this time. I'm fine alone.

Tired,
Monica

The Evil Eight

I'm sitting here watching Dr. Phil. He's trying to convince this young woman on his show to stay away from the man who almost killed her with a baseball bat, her ex-boyfriend. Dr. Phil explains his theory of "the evil eight", characteristics of people you don't want to be involved with in any sort of relationship.

1. Arrogant entitlement
2. Lack empathy
3. No remorse/guilt
4. Irresponsible/self-destructive
5. Thrive on drama
6. Brag about outsmarting
7. Short-term relationships
8. Fantasy world/delusional

Aware,
Monica

Day in the Life of a Teacher

6:00 am up early to prepare for the day

7:15 am arrive at work early to have access to copy room/grade papers in peace/clean room

8:00 am school bell rings

8:05 am parent emails start coming in (No I haven’t graded all the quizzes yet. I have 517 students.)

8:10 am planning period –40 minutes

-grade papers/answer emails/update lesson plans/conference with parents

-meet with administrators/read through IEPs and 504 Plans

8:50 am math class (co-teach with intervention specialist)

-each student in the class has a learning or behavior issue or both

9:50 am try to use restroom. Attempt #1. All full. Race back to classroom.

9:53 am class

10:38 am brunch aka lunch time

-meet with students who are struggling in class

-return parent phone calls

-shove food down throat

-restroom. Attempt #2. Line too long.

11:05 am class

11:50 am restroom. Attempt #3. SUCCESS!!

11:53 am class

12:36 pm class

-inclusion/3  adult aides in room

-every hand is usually up/not possible to meet the needs of all 28 students consistently

-frustrated :(

1:21 pm class

2:06 pm intervention/enrichment duty

3:00 pm bell rings

3:05 pm grade more papers/read through professional development powerpoint from state

-make good news or bad news calls home

-staff meeting

4:00 pm run to grocery store

4:30 pm cook small quick dinner/grade papers/read through personal emails

5:00 pm walk or play with dog/return personal calls/check social media

6:00 pm begin work for Bliss

-check Pinterest inspiration boards

-update website

-call clients

-participate in Twitter party to stay current in the field

7:00 pm watch a little tv and fall asleep

*This is what a day in my life looks like. I hope you all see why I’m grumpy sometimes ;).

I get upset when people say that teachers don't do anything all day. I bet most of you can go to the restroom whenever you want. Right? I bet you also have more than 27 minutes for lunch too.

Teaching is a year round position. Most of us take classes all summer, teach or tutor students, or work full time at another job. We're not lying on a beach reading trashy novels for three months straight.

I became a teacher because of the students. Even though we are disrespected and looked down on, I wouldn't want to be anything else. Nothing makes me smile more than when a student runs up to me and says I can't wait to come to your class later. That little face makes my day.

Exhausted,
Monica

A Little More about Me...

I have discovered false eyelashes. I love them! It's amazing how a few dollars and big eyelashes can make me feel like a new person. I wish I would have tried them years ago!!

Product 19 cereal. Omgosh. My Dad used to eat this cereal when I was a little girl. One day I googled iron rich cereals and Product 19 came up. It has 100% of your daily iron. I've been eating it everyday for the past 2 weeks and I feel so much better. I knew I was severely anemic, but I didn't realize it was making me so grouchy and utterly exhausted. I will be buying iron rich cereals forever.

My boss still hates me, but I no longer care. I found out she hates almost everyone. What an unhappy miserable person she is. Ugh. I'm there for my students. I just close my door and do what's best for their benefit.

I gave up Facebook for Lent. Best decision ever! I don't miss the phony updates, drama, or annoying people. I do miss looking at most of the baby pictures some of my friends posted, but I'll be just fine. I also wasted so much time mindlessly staring at peoples pages. Maybe I'll go back when Lent is over, maybe I won't. Right now I'm enjoying the break. *By the way, M.E. you are so insecure and pitiful. Begging D to change his default picture back to one of the two of you was hilarious. You're such a sad girl.*

Last night I accidently sent a pic to the wrong number in my address book. I sent an innocent photo to Mike G instead of Mike P. Mike G kept texting me for the next hour about sending him naughty pics, even though I don't and won't do that sort of thing. It made me smile a little to know he was interested. Flattery will always get you points with me.

It feels great to be happy and healthy for a change!

Feeling pretty,
Monica

Harlem Shake

My new obsession...




Dancing,
Monica

Happy Valentine's Day

 xxoo,
Monica

Women AND Men...

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES (TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.)
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots or garages.

6] Number three are public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.


POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

*If you have compassion please reblog this post.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.

SOURCE: http://goo.gl/uzydR

Aware,
Monica

Fly Like an Eagle!

Yesterday afternoon I saw a white eagle in the tree in my backyard. I've never seen an eagle up close before and I didn't know white eagles even existed. The wing span was huge and I couldn't stop staring at it.

After the eagle flew away, I ran to my computer to research white eagles. There is not a lot of information other than people who dream about white eagles. I was discouraged until I began searching on the Native American sites I enjoy. I came across this paragraph:

If an individual has been going through a hard time, eagle not only signals a new beginning, but     provides that person with the stamina and resilience to endure the difficulties. If eagle has appeared, it bestows freedom and courage to look ahead. The eagle is symbolic of the importance of honesty and truthful principles. Summon the eagle when you are about to embark on a challenge, a massive life change or a creative endeavor. Pure Spirit

Most of my regular readers know my life has been quite difficult for awhile now. I've been close to giving up and running away. Lately things have gotten better. I have hope for the future. The white eagle sighting confirmed it. God works in mysterious ways.

Blessed,
Monica

Thank You.

Life got a little easier for me last week. I came home from school and found a huge blessing in my mailbox. It was a gift certificate. I have no idea who sent it or where it came from. I do know whoever sent this is my guardian angel and I will forever be grateful. Thank you.

Happy,
Monica