Thank you!

2010 is coming to an end tonight. As I look back on the events most of it was pretty awful, but there were two wonderful bright spots, mi hija was accepted at her #1 college choice and mi sobrinito was born. Those are two awesome events. It's a shame I let myself overlook those wonderful moments.

I am hopeful about 2011. Maybe a new relationship is in store for me, or perhaps someone from my past will become an important part of my present? Will a failed marriage turn into a beautiful vow renewal? Who knows what my future will be, but I'm looking forward to the wild ride, mi vida loca, or a peaceful journey. Whatever God has planned.

I'd like to thank each and every one of my readers for your comments and support. You all keep me going, thinking, and laughing. Gracias mil por todo.

Happy New Year/Feliz Año Nuevo/Feliz Ano Novo/ Felice Anno Nuovo!
Monica

Update...

No more tears, well at least for now. I guess I was just having one of those days. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

I just needed some time off and a lot of rest. Stress is bad for everyone. It made me crack. I was crying and super depressed. Stress also triggered two days of flares. Ugh.

I feel so much better now. I'm enjoying life again. I'm functioning like a productive member of society. I will also do my part to stimulate the economy by doing all of my Christmas shopping tomorrow.

Besos,
Monica

Tears...

It's four days before Christmas. One of my favorite holidays. I haven't done anything to prepare for it:
    -no Christmas cards sent
    -no gifts bought for anyone other than mi sobrinito
    -no food purchased
    -no plans made.

I'm sitting here on my lunch break at work bawling my eyes out watching depressing videos on AOL music. I'm so sad I can't even function. I know I have to get myself together. Christmas will be here. Mi hija is home from college. I know she's wondering what's wrong with me. Why I'm not my usual self. Why I'm not running around like crazy. Why I haven't bought any presents or wrapped any gifts.

Maybe it's because I am sad. This has been an awful year. I have been through so much. I've held it all together for so long. I've put up with so much. I've given to everyone. I've been everyone's support system. I've tried to make everyone happy.

I look back on 2010 and see a bunch of sadness, hurt, and pain. I see a man that promised to love and respect me before God hurt me and leave me over and over again. I've seen my baby girl grow up and move far away. I've had mi madre make comments that sliced my heart open. I've been near death and transported via ambulance to the hospital.

I don't know how much more of this year I can take...

Triste,
Monica

fall for your type...

Hmm,
Monica

Unconditional Love

Mi amorcito,
Monica

X

Dear Sir,
I have absolutely no respect for you. You have made my life a living hell for the last two and a half years. Your constant financial instability, your disrespect for my house, my religion, my family, and me have been unbearable.

Everyone told me you were worthless. I didn't listen. I thought you had a heart and were worth saving. I thought you could get it together and make something of yourself one day. I thought you could overcome your demons and break through your issues and grow up. I was very, very wrong.

You have shown yourself to be a complete idiot. A lazy son of a bitch who has no desire or follow through. You blame everyone and everything for YOUR failures. Look around, see how many people you have alienated. See how many people want nothing to do with you. You say you have no real friends, have you ever been anyone's real friend? You are a liar, a cheater, and a thief.

Ask yourself how you got in the situation you're in right now. Think about everything you have done. All the people you have hurt, shot, stabbed, robbed, lied to, manipulated, physically, verbally, and emotionally abused. I'm one of them. Now leave me alone. Forever. Remember I am a child of God. He loves and protects His own.

Safe,
Monica

"Save the Best for Last"

 One day,
 Monica

Chicago!!

I just returned from a fabulous trip this afternoon visiting mi hija in Chicago. We spent a jam packed four days together over our Thanksgiving Break. I left right after school on Wednesday to be there as early as possible because the day before a holiday is typically the busiest traveling day.

I arrived at the Cleveland Hopkins airport breezed through security (no x-ray scan or groping session) and found a comfy seat and waited for my flight to board. Little did I know I would be in that seat for the next four and a half hours! The United Airway flight from Cleveland to Chicago was delayed to to weather. It was a nightmare. I watched grown people act like small children. One women had a meltdown because she was getting married in the morning, cutting it a bit close chica.

Finally our flight was called and we had to board IMMEDIATELY. That gave me pause. Why the rush? If it was a small break in the weather, what would happen if the storm came storming back? I left it in God's hands and boarded the airplane.

The flight scared about five years off of my life. I've never experienced such turbulence in any flight before. I thought to myself, "at least I"m closer to heaven". When the pilot announced we were landing in Chicago I felt like a new person. Never mind I had to do this all over again in four days...

Sonrisa,
Monica

Cruel Intentions??

Yesterday my soon to be ex called me and asked me if I wanted to have sex with him.

Yes, you read that right. He has some HUGE cajones on him to try that shit with me after all he's put me through lately. I guess he thinks I'm that desperate and lonely. Umm, no. I have absolutely no desire be anywhere near him any time soon. I guess I didn't make that clear enough. Maybe I was too nice, should I have chased him out of the house with a machete? a hot pot of grits or masa? How do you make an ex truly an ex? Any suggestions??

Abrazos,
Monica

Grrr!!!

Disappointed in your behavior then and now,
Monica

OUCH!

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:

"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits.

No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.  No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?

I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together.

Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.  ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh.

Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north.

After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!!

Blinded from pain!!!!...

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!

Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious.

Do I hear crashing drums???

Breathe, breathe..................

OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy -

a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.

I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.

I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not!

I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something.

So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut!  

My butt is sealed shut.

Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself  "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should

melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub -

The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone.

It's a very good conversation starter  "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.

I give her the  rundown a nd she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor .

Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic

Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!!

It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......

*Originally sent to me by my friend Monica See. I just had to share it.

**Okay guys, I know you looked.  See what kind of shit we go through to look good for you!!!

xoxo