Life After Ashley Madison

You found your husband or boyfriend on Ashley Madison. What happens now...

Please sit down and take a deep breath.

Signing up for AM was free. He might have been curious. If that's it calmly have a talk with him in the next couple of days.

If there are credit card transactions, research how many times his card was used. Divide by two because there are two entries for each transaction. Make sure the credit card information and billing address are correct.

If there are only a few there still might not be a reason to worry. Those are probably communication charges. Maybe a little fantasy talk? Calmly have a talk with him tomorrow.

If there are several transactions with fees over $1000, he has paid for the "guaranteed affair" package. If you have children take them to a relatives home and speak to him at once.

You can survive this. Depending on the situation you may have to have STD/HIV testing. You may want a legal separation or even a divorce. Make sure you have a good lawyer. It will be expensive.

You may decide to forgive him. If you do, do not share details of the ordeal with everyone. This is a private moment. Sometimes others can do more harm than good. Be careful if you decide to share your marital issues with anyone but your spouse or a trusted counselor.

True Story on Fusion

Take care,
Monica

An Unfaithful Wife

The moment she saw him again after ten years, she knew what was going to happen...

Liz loved Rey from the day she first met him their sophomore year of high school. He was always wearing tight jeans and smelled like soap and cologne. They were just friends. Never anything else. Little did she know they would be so much more.

Working on the reunion committee was a little dull. Liz made several calls and sent emails trying to track down former classmates that didn't live in the area anymore. One day she decided to see if anyone from her high school was on the popular social networking site Myspace.

A familiar name popped up. Reymundo. Her mouth dropped open. Could this actually be him??? Quickly Liz sent him a private message. He replied almost instantly. It was him. Rey. Her high school crush.

They spent hours catching up on old times. Rey joined the Coast Guard immediately after graduation. He also married his senior prom date Jenna. They had two children and were currently living in the same state. Liz was also married and had a little boy.

Liz was ecstatic when Rey wanted to speak on the phone. His voice was so sexy! The first time they talked neither one of them wanted to get off the phone with each other. Both were in unhappy marriages and needed attention. Rey was more than willing to give Liz the attention she craved.

Rey's wife's family still lived in their old hometown, not too far from where Liz lived with her husband Santiago. Rey was bringing his family to the area and suggested they meet for coffee while he was in town.

She was more excited and nervous than she had ever been. Their talks on the phone were so perfect. How would things be in person? Would they have the same chemistry? Liz changed her outfit about fifty times before she left to meet Rey.

Liz remembers sitting at the table by the window waiting for Rey to arrive. She almost got up and went home. After a few minutes he pulled up in his Jeep. He looked amazing. So handsome and sexy. The way he undressed her with his eyes made her squirm in her seat.

When Liz stood up to greet him, Rey pulled her into a hug. He pressed his body into hers. She didn't want to let go. After about five minutes of chatting Rey asked if she wanted to go for a ride through the park. Liz smiled and agreed.

The day at the park marked the beginning of their three year affair. Three years of hugging, kissing, touching, and making love. They met at hotels, parks, coffee houses, and sometimes never even left her car. It was a wild and exciting time in both of their lives.

Looking back Liz regrets letting Rey into her life again. She felt guilty about sleeping with another man while she was married. Why did she do it? Loneliness. She didn't feel wanted or needed by her husband. Being with Rey made her feel like a teenager again.

I asked Liz if she had it to do all over again would she? No. Never, she replied. a few moments of bliss cost her a lifetime of regret.

The unthinkable,
Monica

A little of this and that.

The last couple of weeks have been a little loca. I've gotten involved with a male friend (damn 50 Shades), my favorite Model Latina Maytee has been eliminated from the competition, I had surgery, my ex esposo broke my heart, and mi madre has fleas!

My friend Z and I have been close for a long time now. He's got a great sense of humor, works two jobs, is 100% muscle, and has the most beautiful green eyes. One evening he sent me a text message that said stay with me tonight. I was shocked. I called him and he wanted me to come over and see all the renovations he had done on the house he just purchased. I drove over and I really liked what I saw...

Monday comes around and it's time for Model Latina South Beach. Maytee Martinez is a beautiful model on MLSB. I haven't seen such a sweetheart on a reality tv show since Nancy "@VH1sPocohontas" Olivares from the Real Chance of Love 2. Here's Maytee's exit interview video:

She's so classy and gorgeous. We'll all see her again. I'm sure of it. If you don't have nuvoTV episodes of Model Latina South Beach are on hulu.com.

A week goes by and it's time for surgery again. Yes again. My elbow has been hurting me since high school. I've seen doctors for years and no one could do anything about it until now. The pain of surgery is a cake walk compared to what I have been dealing with since age 18. I can't wait to be 100% healed. I just know I'm going to be way less grumpy.

It's now Thursday and I decided to be nice and send N a Happy Birthday text. Big mistake on my part. N called me got upset with me and admitted that he cheated on me during our last year of marriage. Long time readers will know that is the one thing I knew that (thought I knew) N would never do to me. He harped on cheating almost daily. His precious and perfect ex-fiance Natalie cheated on him and he never recovered from it. Now I find out that he did it to me. Deep down I had a feeling when things were so bad between us something was going on, but I ignored my intuition. We're divorced and I'm still heartbroken.

Rounding out the week mi madre calls me on the phone yesterday afternoon and leaves a message saying I think we have fleas over here. I told her a week ago when she kept complaining of a rash around her ankles that it sounded like fleas. Even though mis padres don't have any animals at their house and mi madre cleans every second of the day, fleas can still find their way into a house. It turns out that there are 5 homeless cats living at my Dad's rental house. He apparently brought them back to their house and they're attacking madre. I told them to bomb the house twice and if that didn't help, to call in the professionals. Needless to say she's freaking out.

New guy, no more Maytee, surgery, broken heart and fleas. Just a couple of regular weeks in my world.

Cansada,
Monica

Mi Vida...

I went out last night with a group of good friends. We had so much fun telling stories and talking about old times. What you don't know is that I almost didn't show up.

Earlier that day I had a stress free shopping day con mi madre. That is an accomplishment in itself. While I was out, my ex called. It's strange, sometimes I really want to talk to him, see him, hug and kiss all over him. Other times just hearing his voice makes me cry angry tears.

Guess how I responded... angry tears. Later on of course. I won't ever let him see or hear me cry again. Talking to him yesterday made me remember the day he left me. The cold words and the look on his face. I remembered how he told me he was moving in with his girlfriend J and was going to "fuck the shit" out of her that night. Those words will never leave my head.

His girlfriend J has always been in his life. She was supposedly his best friend during our entire marriage. I'm guessing best friends with benefits. It doesn't matter now. I'm free of both of them. Actually they belong together, he should have never married me in the first place.

I can be strong and say all these things now looking back on our relationship. I will admit that the sight of J annoys the hell out of me. Everything on la puta is fake. Who walks around with basically a fake head? (hair, eyes, eyelashes, wrong color of make-up, over done lips) Why do I let someone so awful and immoral bother me so much? So much so that I almost missed out on an amazing night out with friends. I guess I still have a little baggage to get rid of asap. Now where's that trash compactor??? ;)

Besos,
Monica

Wrong...

*I can't stop staring at the lips of the man playing the piano. Ohhh, I love a man with full lips. Mmm!

Amor,
Monica

Esposa con un otro...

One of my favorite movies came on this past Sunday morning, “Unfaithful” staring Richard Gere and Diane Lane. I absolutely love this movie. The concept is completely believable. A married woman is consumed in a steamy love affair with a younger, attractive French man. Their sexual scenes are hot and pull you in, almost like a voyeur. The ending is controversial; I won’t spoil it if you haven’t seen it.

While watching the movie, I immediately wanted to blog about female infidelity. What did my male and female friends think about the subject? Would they be willing to talk openly and honestly about this taboo topic? Oh yes. Por favor, read on you may be surprised at what they had to say.

I began a dialogue on women and cheating. I asked several questions about what was considered cheating, why and why not? If alcohol is involved does this change anything? Would you tell your partner/spouse? Then finally any other comments on the topic? *Some names and details have been changed to protect the innocente.

Las mujeres first, claro

R, Blanca, Divorced

-not easy to forgive

-admit and confess cheating because the truth always comes out eventually

C, Latina, Married

-men are less likely to forgive than women

-men tend to walk away when hurt

-tell spouse about cheating only if you want marriage to end

-no need to hurt another person just to ease conscience

F, Latina, Single

-easier to forgive a one night stand than an extended rendezvous

S, Blanca, Married

-prayer and effort from both parties necessary to forgive

-sincere repentance from person who cheated

-time helps, but doesn’t heal all

A, Blanca, Married

-kissing okay (cultural norm)

-flirting okay, but not too much, it becomes over the line

-contacting ex okay (i.e. adding on Facebook), but continuing to talk crosses boundaries

-alcohol involved kiss not cheating, would not tell spouse

-alcohol involved one night stand is cheating, would eventually tell spouse

 P, Blanca, Married

-“As long as you don’t get caught, it’s okay.”

-“Lie”

-"Admit nothing!"

-sneaking out and meeting someone for sex is cheating

-kissing intimately is cheating

-intentions are what is important

-alcohol involved kissing is not cheating

-alcohol involved sex is not cheating, would feel guilty, but would never tell husband

M, Latina, Married

-kissing is not cheating

-alcohol involved kissing is not cheating either

-alcohol involved sex is not cheating and would never tell, guilt is yours, own it

-you can’t help who you fall for, situations happen

S, Blanca, Single

-came from a broken home

-would never cheat, saw first hand how it ruins a family and hurts everyone involved

-cut all ties with temptation

Los hombres

S, Blanco, Married

-kissing is cheating, unless to say hello

-basically considers everything cheating except if she is with another woman (thinks that’s sexy)

-no one night stands or ongoing affairs, immediate divorce preceedings

-counseling not an option

-alcohol involved not cheating, lack of judgment, but she must tell him immediately

-trust is the most important part of a relationship, without it he’s gone

-the media is responsible for portraying bad values related to marriage 

-“Before there is a divorce there will be a funeral.”

R, Latino, Married

-physical intimacy only is cheating

-technology has blurred the line

-sexting is cheating as well

N, Filipino, Married

-kissing is cheating

-everything including looking at or talking to another man is cheating

-hooking up with another woman is also cheating

-alcohol related sexual activity kissing, sex is cheating

-hates cheating and people who cheat

-would never give a cheater a second chance

My friend S was the most passionate about cheating. He's also a young newlywed. That makes a big difference. Why you ask? He's still in the new romance phase of his marriage. Things change a bit once you've been married awhile. Ask an "old-timer". S is also a bit arrogant and cocky as most handsome men. I'm sure he thinks his wife would never even glance at another man. She probably wouldn't, but you never know. #justsayin

My other friend P surprised me the most. She was bluntly honest and hilarious with her answers. She's been married longer than I've been alive. P and her husband make a wonderful couple. They're happy and compliment each other. If it's not broke, don't fix it. Right, right??

There you have it. Now it's your turn. What do YOU think about cheating?

Muchos besos,

Monica

**Thanks to everyone that took the time to answer my questions so openly and honestly.

Already done the "Un-thinkable"...

*sigh*
Monica

Joslyn James

I've been sort of a hermit lately. I'm dealing with a few health issues and I'm completely negative right now. Mi madre always says "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all". This of course doesn't apply to my blog.

Even though I'm taking a little social network posting hiatus, I'm still reading and keeping up with what's going on in the world. Right now "cheating husbands" are all the rage. Tiger Woods and Jesse James are the front runners in this disappointing race.

Tiger Woods' girlfriend, mistress, whore Joslyn James is looking to extend her 15 minutes of fame by posting text messages Tiger sent to her while they were dating, having sex, screwing each other a while ago. Others are shocked at these messages, I am not. Maybe I'm jaded?

Those of you who don't want to read the messages for yourself, I'll sum them up for you. Tiger Woods is a freak, he likes kinky sex including golden showers, threesomes, and cheating on his wife with porn stars.

At least Tiger's girlfriend was cute.

Shame on us all,

Monica